IWSG - PPWC & Writing Fears

It's time for the May Insecure Writer's Support Group!

Created by Alex J. Cavanaugh, the IWSG is a virtual gathering of writers sharing their insecurities and seeking and giving support. Anyone can sign up. Simply click on Alex's name and put your blog on the linky list.

The co-hosts this month are Feather Stone, Janet Alcorn, Rebecca Douglass, Jemima Pett, and Pat Garcia. Be sure to drop by and thank them for helping out!

The optional question this month is: Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack or talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them?

Well, I don't fear rejection! Rejection is never easy, but it's part of the business, and I've dealt with enough of it to stop fearing it. That doesn't mean there aren't rejections I regret more than others, though. I even pitched at Pikes Peak Writers Conference this past weekend. While I did not get a "send it," the agent really liked the story, said that was something she'd love reading, said there was a market for it, but that she has found she does not have the proper connections and ability to sell that particular sub-genre. She invited me to ask questions since we still had some time left on the pitch session, so I did, and got some helpful information on comparables to my story for a query letter and made sure certain aspects wouldn't be problematic. Had I been too afraid to pitch, I wouldn't have gotten to pick her brain for a few minutes.

Now, failure and success I could see as some of my current fears. Weird to fear success, right? But I've watched, for example, Rebecca Yarros suddenly go from mostly unknown, though fairly successful, to someone I watch people tearing apart and demanding things from, and I don't like that at all. She was nice enough to do a two-hour, unpaid program for me back when I ran non-conference events for Pikes Peak Writers when a mutual friend couldn't come. That sort of thing does make success look frightening. I'm willing to risk failure, and honestly, I could probably say I've failed at some things already and just pressed on to keep trying, which makes failure less frightening than it could be. Most failure isn't permanent.

I think most of us fear lack of talent/ability. I have definitely had my moments, such as when I suddenly go through a long period of rejections with no acceptances. I start to fear I've lost my ability to write well or that I've done something wrong. On that, I have a lovely story from conference this past weekend. I was hanging out in the conference bookstore while I waited for the next session and a woman walked up to the register with two of my books and asked if they knew if the author would be signing. They pointed me out. She told me she was a fan, and that she'd bought one of my books previously at one of the Bloody Valentine events. She even said I was on her short list of authors she aspired to be able to write like. How amazing is that?! It such a cool experience, and one I needed to have right now. Each little moment like that keeps me going. Unlike some of you, I haven't really gotten any fan mail before, but I've had some in-person experiences similar to this one.

Conference was fun this past weekend, though I'm in recovery from the exhaustion right now. My boss pre-authorized a paid mental health day for me Monday so I could rest before coming back to work, which was nice. I'm not sure I could have worked if I'd tried to go in. I taught three workshops, one of those split over two days, so four total hours of teaching. I also did an hour session of speed pitching, which involved sitting at a table and having hopeful aspiring authors sit with me to practice and hone the pitches they'd be giving the next day to agents and editors. I was nervous at first, that I'd freeze up and not be able to help them, but instead I found it really fun to be able to help that way. One woman approached me in the hallway the next day and told me I'd asked her a question none of the other faculty had thought to ask, and that it had helped her change her pitch. I was never able to ask her if she'd gotten a "send it" from her pitch.

With David R. Slayton at Friday lunch, PPWC

I was a table host at each of the meals, which was also fun, and we had a book signing where I sold some books and got to hang out and chat with my friend David R. Slayton and with Avery Flynn, who was so fun I'm going to have to check out her books. (I have, of course, already checked out David's and highly recommend them). Now it's time to restock for an event in July down near Mesa Verde. 

Finally, we also did a live taping of the podcast (Mysteries, Monsters, & Mayhem), with David R. Slayton as our guest. It was the first time we did a recording in public, and it was super fun. I was nervous that I'd be too tired to be entertaining and able to chat, but being in front of folks and chatting with friends made that a lot easier to do, and we had a lot of good laughs. That episode will be out in either June or July.

All of that socializing is really hard for someone who's autistic, and I spent several hours at the end of each day with the sliding glass door open in my hotel room, snuggled up in pajama pants and a hoodie, just working on unwinding and coming down from the day. This meant not much sleep, because I had to be up early, but I can't sleep at all if I don't decompress first, no matter how late it is or how early I have to get up. "Forensic Files" is my go-to watch/background noise in hotel rooms, and it's usually available on some channel on either cable or satellite. I was able to find it Friday for my winddown, but watched some other random stuff Saturday night. 

Well, that post ended up pretty long, but it was a good weekend overall. I got to connect with old friends and new folks who attended my workshops or who speed pitched to me. Now for accountability. I didn't have time to write a post last month, so I'll do my stats for both March and April.

March stats:

4 rejections

0 acceptances

1 shortlisting

11 submissions

April stats:

1 rejection

2 acceptances

1 story still shortlisted 

0 new submissions

13 stories currently out on submission

Are you submitting? What are your insecurities? Have you ever spoken at a conference?

May you find your Muse.